In hopes of getting married and living a meaningful life. Many Christians are going astray during dating or in relationships, making their lives somewhat miserable making it difficult to be reckoned to those whose lives are connected to faith in God. Christians who made mistakes in the process of choosing partners may eventually get to divorce one another in the midst of the journey that they had sworn to be an everlasting one. This development does not accurately portray the beauty of marriage as God intended from the foundation of the world. God did not merely give a stink eye on divorce. He disesteem divorce. Divorce is like a filthy package before God. It is better to understand the mind of God about marriage before delving into it.
Jesus was asked. “Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause? He answered them. Have you not read, that he that made them in made them male and female? Now, for this cause shall a man leave father and mother and cleave unto his wife; and they two shall be one flesh?” Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together let no man put asunder.” Divorce was only offered as an option in the time of Moses based on the hardness of the hearts of the people. Are people’s hearts hardened now against this very truth? That is not a sure reality. It is the society that denies that man has a connection with God from the beginning that turned divorce into a bunch of business. So, there is not much emphasis on the right choice in dating, since marriage is a contextual contract rather than a bond.
As a result of the recent technological advancements in the 21st century. The choice of partners for marriage is now common and available on dating apps, sites, and or platforms established not only by Christian communities but by various sects of bodies that do not solely identify the Holy Bible as the mouthpiece of God. Hence, Christians must watch out for the sites or apps they are committed to on dating with a prospective partner. Otherwise, they would eventually pose a risk to their marital conduct and journey, leading to an end result of what God himself did not desire for them.
Dating is an explanatory phase where individuals get to know each other. The society defines it as a case of the ‘Twos’ spending the whole lot of time understanding each other in a romantic dimension. But in the case of the believers. It should be a ground for knowing if you can probably secure them for a relationship. Dating focuses on short-term goals, it does not commit to the other partner since it is just a point of finding out if you can connect with the other partner for compatibility. But, majority turned dating into a different show. A showdown of sin which Christians must avoid.
Since dating is a prospective knowing ‘about’ your future partner. It can take shape and form from various means. Dating can occur on dating apps. Life is punctuated into angles for various people. Same thing the marriage experiences and exposure explanations. Some get their future partners in a commercial car while on a journey, some had in the Church, some while on a school campus in their university days, some while in the market or workplace, and some on social media. There is a meeting place. The meeting place could be anywhere. Proverbs 18:22, “Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the Lord.” Christians should avoid getting the wrong end of the stick.
The Bible says, “Whoso findeth a wife.” Meaning, as believers we have some work to do apart from prayers and committing our path to God. It is for us to make a readiness and a reasonable search guided by the light of God. Hence, the favor of the Lord will overshadow the choice.
Since dating apps introduce new dynamics that can challenge biblical principles, focusing on specific mistakes is highly relevant for Christians. Based on the common pitfalls mentioned in discussions about Christian dating and the application of Scripture, here are seven suggested mistakes Christians might be making on dating apps that go against biblical teaching:
1. Misplacing the Priority:
Placing your relationship above that which is called the love of God. This tends to miss the link in your relationship with God. Or showing an extreme anxiety, discontentment in singleness, and or making compromises to avoid being alone. The Bible commends us to seek the kingdom of God, Matt 6:33. We must not be desperate so as not to get into the problem of idolizing marriage and relationships. Once we do, we pose nothing but a risk to the glorious future we are expecting in the Lord.
2. Driving the Consumeristic Mindset and Pushing for Mundane Things:
Christians can commit the mistake of viewing potential partners online as product availability. Here comes the endless rigorous subjecting of the partner to the evaluation of superficial layers. (Their body’s outlook; shapes and contours, perfect body type, heights, specific high-paying jobs partners and etc) rather than a matching fellow image-bearer of God. This leads to dehumanizing judgment, a quick swipe, and watching out for other partners who have the qualities.
Love is not self-seeking (1 Corinthians 13:5). We are called to look not only to our own interests, but also to the interests of others (Philippians 2:3-4), recognizing the inherent worth of every person as created in God’s image (Genesis 1:27).
3. Lacking Intentionality and Clarity of Purpose:
Another mistake Christians make is to stay connected to someone who lacks good intentions about marriage. Someone who is barely concerned about future building. Whose purpose is not known but just keeps on chatting, and wishing to know or explore your carnal knowledge through your social media handle you met. They are more interested in seeing your shapes on their Direct Message and etc. Heb 13:4, “Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.” A person can rightly be defiled before even getting to bed. The bed form of the sin is the practical reality of it. You can have sexual engagement with people driven by lust and carried out in various forms, especially with the social technological tools of our day. Matthew 5:28, “But I say unto you, that whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.”
4. Dating an Unbeliever:
Intentionally pursuing or continuing a relationship with someone who does not demonstrate a genuine, active faith in Christ, hoping to “witness” to them or compromise on the biblical command to marry “in the Lord.” Do not say, with time, he/she can change. People you wish to have a relationship with must have a heart for the Lord as you do.
This is a clear warning against forming binding partnerships with unbelievers, which extends to the path toward marriage (2 Corinthians 6:14-15; 1 Corinthians 7:39). You will regret such an action.
5. Unguarded Heart and Emotions:
Do not ruin things with an unguarded heart and your emotions. The other partners can play on you if you fail to guard your heart and emotions. Allowing the anonymity and constant communication of the app to lead to premature emotional or physical intimacy before a genuine, accountable relationship is established. This often includes sharing deep emotional secrets too quickly or entering into physically tempting situations.
We are instructed to guard our hearts diligently, for from it flow the springs of life (Proverbs 4:23). We must also flee youthful passions and pursue purity in everything we are engaged in (2 Timothy 2:22).
6. Defrauding Others and or other Reckless Life:
One of the reasons dating apps are complicated is that they afford people whose lives are in extreme recklessness to engage with you on an important topic relevant to life; marriage. Some people are being vague about their intentions (e.g., looking for a casual hookup, unclear on a desire for marriage) or acting in a way that implies a level of commitment and intimacy that you have not actually made, thus misleading or “defrauding” you. You have to be extremely wise.
We are told to abstain from sexual immorality and that no one should “wrong or defraud” his brother in this matter (1 Thessalonians 4:3, 6). This principle of not misleading others applies to both sides of the partners and once you detect. You must detach.
7. Secret Relationship and Prayerless Mode
Some things are just wrong if you are running a secret relationship with someone without the knowledge of God and at the same time trusted people around you. If you are hiding your dating processes from the knowledge of everybody it means there is more to it. Darkness fears the light. So, when you think it is right to keep it in the dark, you may get yourself shot in the back at the end of the day.
We must be prayerful. Commit everything to the hand of God. As the Bible says. “In all your ways, acknowledge him and he’ll direct your path.” Do not have your dating and relationships in isolation.
