Marriage is not a dawn-to-dark affair. Marriage requires you to comprehend what God says and wants from the Holy Scriptures about what marriage itself entails and to discern who you are and figure out yourself. Marriage does not begin on the wedding day. It begins from the moment you have convictions in your partner and are convinced in building your life with them now, unto an eternal purpose. The scriptures say, Proverbs 18:22, “Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD.” However, before you find favour with the Lord, you will definitely have had an understanding and personal formation of yourself. What you believed in, your perceptions, and background would shape your home. 2 Timothy 3:15, “And that from a child thou hast known the holy scriptures, which canst make thee wise unto salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus.” While this Bible verse gave hints of the destiny of a child unto salvation. The faith which is in Christ Jesus was brought by the child knowing the spiritual realities. When there is knowledge and understanding of spiritual things. You will have a haven as a home. While marriage is Physical, because the participants are flesh and blood, there are spiritual explanations behind it, since the constructor is a Spiritual Being.

In a world shaped by cultural appropriation and social media mentalities. Love, submission, and whatever that encompasses marriage have been constantly reconceptualized from Biblical positions and rewired into worldly components of acquiescence. Many people are stepping into marriage based on the aura of, ‘I want to be married’. This makes them unprepared for some realities, they have the desires which are good, but have they asked themselves critical questions that challenge life about marriage?

Before you think about whom to marry, you must settle how you understand marriage.

Here are 7 Questions every young Christian must answer if they truly desire to build a Godly home.

1. What Is My True Understanding Of Marriage According To Scripture?

Marriage is the sealing of two persons as one, backed up by God. Not by a man on the pulpit, not by your parents, or by a friend or guidance. It is not a contract you entered into by force. But by your consent. A necessity.

Gen 2:24-25, “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.” and Jesus Christ reinforces the same point of God’s view in Matt 19:6.

Marriage is a covenant between two. It is meant not to be ordinary companionship. Wife was a help meet unto the man. Meaning, man is in a position of help and God brought one. Man was practically deformed for the wife to be formed. Thus, there is a clear-cut explanation for love and submission. Genesis 2:23. A Woman was taken out of the man. A miracle of marriage.

The scriptural understanding is that marriage is designed as a covenant, those engaged by physical participants, it is spiritual and marriage has a purpose to fulfill. The purpose of God Himself.

2. Do I See Divorce as an Option, or a Last Resort Under God’s Design?

The Word of God is extremely wholesome about marriage. We have had in scriptures; the literal context and the reality of Christ Jesus marriage to the Church and in the same vein capturing what earthly marriage of a husband and wife should be. Eph 5:22-33.

The prototype of marriage is constructively heavenly. Hence, there is no tone of divorce presented. While, God hates putting away. He dislikes violence. God attests that He detests divorce. Malachi 2:16. Matt 19:8-9, Jesus Christ explained the objective motives of divorce for Israelites in the law. But as Christians in the Lord. Divorce is not merely an option or a last resort. It is nothing, but a caricature of divine inspiration of marriage. A travesty of the Church and Christ typology.

Before committing to that partner, ask yourself who he is. What he is capable of doing in building or destroying. Similarly, be patient, play your role, and be committed.

3. Do I Truly Understand Biblical Submission and Leadership?

This is part of a discourse misunderstood. The continual misunderstanding of this subject matter is capable of quickly dissolving a marriage. The unacceptability of the fact eventually made marriage hard for some people. Ephesians 5:22-24, “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it.”

It appears for a wife to submit to the Lord and for a husband to love as Christ did. Submission to the Lord is never slavery. Leadership in Christ is not to harm. Know the difference.

In 2 Pet, 3:1-7, there is another point to be taken. Sarah referred to Abraham as ‘lord’. A subjection. Husbands must treat their wives according to honour. Abraham honoured Sarah, in Genesis 16:1-6. Abraham should not have harkened, considering the promises of God. But love pushed him. In 2 Pet 3:7, Compliance comes with answers to the prayers of partners.

The real question you should keep asking yourself. ‘Do I understand my role the way Scripture defines it, or the way culture distorts it?’

4. Am I Prepared to Lead or Support in a Way That Reflects Christ?

It is one thing to discuss roles and know them. It is another thing to do them. For young men ready to marry, ‘Are you ready to lead with all it takes? With patience and accountability?’ Would your home be a one controlled by a third-party? Such as, your mother, sister, and or brothers? Remember, you are forming a new house for new offspring. Whatever loopholes you created by the vacuum of your inconsistency and inconsideration. It will backfire. Not now. But in times to come.

For young women, ‘Are you ready to obey? Support?

Christ-likes homes are built on scriptures. Not cultures. Not by pressure from social media relationship talkers who themselves do not have stable homes.

5. What Are My Convictions About Work, Provision, and Family Structure?

These are modern conversations about family and roles. There are modern emergencies. This doesn’t claimed scriptural women are jobless. But this has not been reasoned in the pattern like;

• Should a wife be a full-time housewife?

• What if wife earns more than her husband?

My opinions are, Wife should not be made a full-house Wife. To what purpose is that? Jealousy over being taken by another man or being financially handicap? A husband who made her wife not work may die tomorrow. Who will take care of your children when you are gone? A woman you made jobless?

If the wife earns more than her husband, what happens? There is a pastor who once shared that he was jobless for ten years and his wife fed him all those years. Sometimes, he would not eat. But the wife brought the food to her knees begging him to eat. She would buy him clothes to wear and cater for the children, these she did in his name. In all the years. He has been up to making things work. Finally, things yielded. Wife lost her job and he took her up.

Christ-like marriage is not a self-centered marriage. Husband must love and wife must submit at all times. That is the key to an everlasting union.

6. Am I Emotionally and Spiritually Mature Enough for Marriage?

Sometimes, many young men over-prioritize financial maturity. They think money solves all. Money can not fix your emotions. Yes. It can not. It can not help you handle spiritual realities.

If you are not ready spiritually and emotionally. You are not ready. Because, going into it will not fix you. It will reveal you.

7. What Kind of Partner Am I Becoming Right Now?

It’s easy to pray for the “right person.” It’s harder to become one. Proverbs 20:11 reminds us that even a child is known by their actions. Your habits today are shaping your future marriage. If you are not standing right, you can never meet the right partner. Prepare disciplined and faithful.

Conclusion: If you are not building today, you can not become one tomorrow. You need to start preparing now before it is too late.